Damn Pasta
by Nobody-Knows76
Summary: It all started with the spaghetti jokes with the kid wearing scarves in hot weather- then havoc started. "…did you just kidnap me?" "Kufufu. No." I sat on the sofa. "No sitting on my sofa, my dear hostage." "Screw you." In which not all Reborn! females are that dense. (Takeshi/OC)


Story: Damn Pasta (original name I know.)

Prolouge: I Flunked my Japanese Test and Western People.

**AN:HELLO PEOPLE OF THE EARTH.**

**I know I had deleted my Katekyo Hitman Reborn story, so here's the new (and hopefully better) story of it. May the flames and water hoses begin- I'm improving my English, so please flame me if you see anything wrong through the story. MUAHAHA.**

**NK76: **_**Now, let's make Reborn do the disclaimer part**_**-gets hit by Leon which is Green – Hammer. **_**Katekyo Hitman Reborn does not belong to me, but the OC's and people you don't recognize do. AND HIBARI KYO**_** –slapped by tonfa.**

**Story Inspiration: A dream actually. I memorized half of it and am going to write half of it plus brain juice. T_T Watching Inception now.**

**Chapter Inspiration: …my Japanese communication with the Japanese Exchange guys didn't really went well. –sadface-**

**Summary: It all started with the spaghetti jokes with the kid wearing scarves in hot weather- then havoc started. "…did you just kidnap me?" "Kufufu. No." I sat on the sofa. "No sitting on my sofa, my dear hostage." "Screw you." In which not all females are that dense. Crack story-and Romance, if you want to. **

"_How much did you get anyway, Hiru?" A hand slapped me at the back, which I responded with a paper face-demolish tactic on my best friend. Arui looked like she was going to have a face-demolish banquet with us right in the centre on one of the many alleys of Namimori, and it wasn't nice for the three of us. Hibari-san may come out any moment and tonfa us like some guy from the Boxing Club and feed us to his chihuahua._

…_..assuming he has one. _

_And it was in the middle of the night. Aside from the guy who's still jogging at the middle of the night (I think his name was….Sasagawa. Third Year in my school-yeah. That's it.) who randomly said "Yo TO THE EXTREMEEEE!" to the three of us, and woke up the devil beneath us. Aside from that fact, no one was on the road._

…_now what are you even thinking? Hiseko Arui, Yamazaki Yuzase and I- Hiruo Keira, were walking back to our friendly neighborhood of Namimori right after the remedial classes ended. Screw my Japanese Language marks- even though I'm half of it._

_And JUST because I was watching Shingeki no Kyojin with English Subs, my answers were…. Simply petrafying to Nezu-sensei. Especially in the oral exam. Here's an Example:_

"_Sotsugyoo shita ato, nani o shitai? ( What do you want to do after graduation?)" The old fart in front me moved his spectacles up to the bridge of his nose, and I cold-sweated. Doomed for life, I thought."Hiruo-san?"_

_FLUGEL DE FREIHEITTTTT…..what was what again?_

_OH!_

"…_sashimi suki desu." (I like sashimi.) He gave me a blank stare and I took that as an choice."…..Levi-heichou wa sugoi desu. Sensei- SHINGEKI NO KYOJIN suki desu ka?! ( Corporal Levi is awesome! Teacher-DO YOU LIKE ATTACK ON TITAN?!")_

…_..let's just say he gave me a FAIL on paper and has forever labeled me as the otaku of the school. I would like to commemorate this part of my life by saying thank you to my old man for having his job exchanged to Japan. Best thing that ever happened in 14 years of mah life._

_Sarcasm rules all._

" _NO PAPER HITTING."Yuzase growled, grabbing our remedial sheets back, glaring at us. Being the most sensible one was hard among two PMS-ing females. You get the picture._

"_FUDGE YOU." _

"…_.just say the original word nice and slowly will you? Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuc-"_

_Paper Hit Combo by an irritated male homo sapien species._

"…_.I hate women."_

"_Does that make you gay?" I asked, innocently, rubbing the place where he hit me. I am full of sparkles~ LIKE EDWARD CULLEN UNDER THE SUN._

"…_..ugh." Self destruction._

_The three of us separated at the junction of Arui's house- she was a rich kid. Yuzase and I were very reluctant to go into that lane which was full of big mansions and….swimming pools that would be approved by Haruka. I skipped on my footsteps, feeling the urge to run -I NEED TO WATCH FREE NOW._

_For the 7__th__ time for the whole season. My consciousness literally squealed. Took 2 weeks for Arui to change me into a yaoi fangirl-but I was not really to her standards. (She could just squeal at two guys walking with each other on the road. Holy shit that girl's nuts.)_

"_OI." The guy behind me shouted, " Are you on drugs or something?" He scoffed when he got a swipe of heavy backpack from me and separated when he reached my single storyed house. It was actually very cosy-looking, despite all the cold blue paintings and the vibe that eminates out of it._

_And those two sitting in front ONTORA-_

"_Good MORNING DEAR LITTLE SISTER OF MINE~!" MY elder brother plucked the youngest member of the family beside him, who smiled at me toothly. Yuji grinned at my classmate who walked off on his own to his house behind ours, "What have you done to my brother- in- law today?"_

"_Told you before: I am merely FRIENDS with him you son of a bitch-"Wait. We have the same mother_

_Sorry mum. _

"_That doesn't work, Keira." The oaf gave me a quick noogie, smiling. _

"_Kei-nee!" the 3 year-old pulled my stockings. He was that short,yes._

_I DO not have a good feeling about this. I smiled at him warily. "Yeah, Mako?"_

"_What's a vibrator and a dildo?" I gaped at him, and snapped at the guilty brother of mine ,I grinded my teeth, someone was going to die tonight. "Yuu-nee taught me something called the birds and the bitches!" Bitches? What three year old would know the female dog's name?_

"_It's the birds and the bees, Ed." The bastard ruffled our brother's blond hair. The little git actually smiled like he was a saint or some sort with a halo around his face." Say it with me."_

_I hit him with my backpack._

"_YOU SICK MINDED ASSHOLE #$%%^^&-!"_

"_-THE BEEEEES!"_

This is my life. When my parents aren't at home-my mature brother just had to teach my innocent brother some facts about life (and sex).

I might have to change the "is" to "was" now.

_My name is Keira Hiruo. Or Hiruo Keira if you want to say it in the Japanese way, but it doesn't really matter now._ I hissed, the thick black bangs forming a small curtain in front of my eyes as I limped onto the floor, disconnecting my sight to the world. _Where the hell are you, kid?_ My senses tingled as a figure sat in front of me.

The figure laughed, and swept away the portion of hair away from my face.

I have to say that he was actually handsome- in the sense of a foreign guy hot way. Like Mom's Western side which you can't find in school. He had monochromatic eyes(one was bluish indigo, another was red)-his trademark, and…nice hair.

My fingers, formerly tucked into the back of my body, raised themselves and smoothed a wild strand of blue hair that was between his forehead.

…_..it's really blue_. I blinked, not noticing the other raising his eyebrows questioningly, a smirk on the edge of his lips. _This hair could really be good cosplay material!_ I smoothed them out.

And started to have a stare-a-thon with awesome blue-hair, trident clutching-stranger that was possibly going to kill me (by having a nosebleed) any second from now.

Count on my mind to decide what situation was best at the moment-

"…..you have nice hair." I said bluntly.

-and what to say to make situations more awkward than they were before. Bloke just had this surprised look on his face and loomed at me after 7 seconds. You're in my personal bubble, Blue extinct Pineapple-sama-kun….-san.

God. I need to stop watching Naruto Abridged.

"Kufufufufu…flattery won't get you anywhere." The tip of his trident scratched against my eye sockets, his eyes both a bloody red and indigo-"Welcome to Hell, girl." He placed a hand on my head, and everything started to….warp around me? It wasn't the best sensation, I assure you- your mind starts to go all mushy and you'll think that you would fall into a hole any moment during that illusion. That was what Mukuro had told me during one of those moments in the future-but I'll tell you how I actually became involved with the whole Mafia scenario that involved my classmates-Sawada Tsunayoshi, Gokudera Hayato and last but not least-_Yamamoto Takeshi_.

…..needless to say, I was so SCREWED.

And how I got into the Mafia was because of lame spaghetti and Italian jokes.

Best story intro _ever._

"Kei..ra-nee." The warping stopped. I shut my eyes tightly. So this is what they call a migraine-owwwwwwww my brain hurts.

"…..Ranking Fuuta." The guy smirked, 'How nice of you to join us."

The boy looked at me and stood between the cosplayer and I, making a shield.

"Keira-nee's not involved with this." Fuuta said boldly. What 'this' ? I thought to myself, and the foreign guy gave me a "Oh, really?" look.

"She will be involved in the Mafia sooner or later- and frankly, it doesn't matter much." The glasses guy stood beside him. "Get the boy to the other room-" Fuuta and I shared terrified looks, this looked like a rape scene in 18 + movies. "The girl will stay here for a short,"

I gulped.

"-briefing." He smiled at me. Heavenly.

…I'm going to ask Mum if Western guys were actually this hot in America-SCREW YOU BRAIN.

"What's your name?"

Oh shit.

AN :…any thoughts on this? It's a very random dream of mine-so. I'll DREAM ON-!

Please review (if you want to) and thanks a bunch for reading this.

Peace out. . *


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